


Save Your Tears

by kakashionmain



Series: Songfics for the Soul (Winter - Spring 2021) [3]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Abandonment, Angst, Canon Compliant, Character Study, Gen, Hurt, Mental Health Issues, Revenge, Survivor Guilt, Team as Family, Trauma, Uchiha Massacre, Uchiha Sasuke-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-14 13:27:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29543064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kakashionmain/pseuds/kakashionmain
Summary: Something in Sasuke chafes at the idea of leaving Naruto, Sakura, and Kakashi behind, but he knows it must be done.  They are not his family — his family is dead.  His family is dead and all that remains is their spirits screaming in agony as their murderer roams free; this village is holding him back, and That Man is out there gathering strength and infamy every passing day.  He has to leave, so he will — the deal Orochimaru extended is just a boon.ORSasuke leaves behind the only home he has ever known, determined to never look back despite the part of him mourning the death of a second family not yet cold in the ground.
Relationships: Haruno Sakura & Hatake Kakashi & Uchiha Sasuke & Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura & Uchiha Sasuke, Hatake Kakashi & Uchiha Sasuke, Uchiha Fugaku & Uchiha Sasuke, Uchiha Itachi & Uchiha Sasuke, Uchiha Mikoto & Uchiha Sasuke, Uchiha Sasuke & Uzumaki Naruto
Series: Songfics for the Soul (Winter - Spring 2021) [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2163474
Comments: 2
Kudos: 19





	Save Your Tears

“Hello, Mother,” Sasuke murmurs, “hello, Father.”

The headstones, predictably, say nothing.

”I just wanted to say goodbye. I’m leaving and I don’t know when I’ll be back, so I won’t be around to clean your graves or light incense or leave flowers. I won’t be around on Obon, either, so no family meals. I’ll try and set up an altar for you, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to. It’s not because I’m ignoring you, but because I’m going after Him.”

The silence is loud and oppressive. He is the only thing alive here — might be the only thing alive in the whole universe right now.

“I know you’ll miss me, but I’m doing this for you and everyone else. He must be brought to justice for his crimes.”

Somewhere in the garden of headstones one of the clan cats lets out a yowl; Sasuke chooses to belive it is his clan wishing him luck.

”Goodbye,” Sasuke says.

* * *

Choosing what to leave and what to take is harder than he thought it would be. Despite what transpired, Sasuke has never moved out of the clan compound — just the main house.

(The idea of crawling into the remains of a relative’s life was only slightly more palatable than living in the house that still holds stains from his parents’ corpses. Still, he could not bear the idea of some strangers playing dollhouse with his family’s bones. Living in the compound was the only option.)

Sasuke leaving the compound behind is enough to make him feel small and anxious. Who will tend to it in his absence? Who will manage the graveyard? The cats? Who will maintain the meeting place? The shrine? No one bothered to step up before — why would they now?

* * *

He hovers over the team photo in indecisiveness for a good 10 minutes before deciding to leave it behind. He has to cut all ties and sink into his hatred; there is no reason for him to have it. Sakura’s smile taunts him with its warmth and photo-Naruto’s glare might as well be aimed at real-life him. Kakashi’s closed-eye smile makes his stomach twist. He cannot bear to look at it any longer.

(Something in him hates his brother just a little bit more. He does not know why, exactly, nor does it matter because his hatred for Itachi is an endless stream, as wide and damning as the River Styx.)

(Except he knows exactly why he found more hatred for the man that killed Sasuke’s family twice.)

* * *

When Sasuke was young, he used to beg his mother for stories about her team. Laughing, she would indulge him with stories of her fiery friends, Kushina and Tsume, and their grudging sensei, Sarutobi Biwako-sama — the only all-kunoichi team in Konohagakure’s history. Sometimes, though, she would just burst into tears — just cry and cry for hours. At the time, Sasuke did not understand why. Everyone at the academy dreamed of their genin team as the academy teachers regaled them with stories of Konoha’s legendary teamwork.

Sasuke thinks he understands now. 

It is still not enough to make him stay.

* * *

Kakashi, Sasuke knows, is insanely busy post-invasion. The council is running him ragged with missions to prove Konoha is strong as ever. It is rumored he is even in ANBU — rejoined the corp, actually, if the gossips are to be believed. This works just fine for Sasuke because it means there is no one to catch him. Naruto would not know he was leaving unless he said it to him and even then the dobe would probably refuse to accept it. Not because Naruto particularly likes Sasuke, but because he could never imagine someone wanting to leave Konoha. Sakura could not stop him even if she wanted to. Not that she would not try — she clings to the image of him she has built in her head far too much to let the real him go easily.

* * *

Sakura is, for some reason, at the gates. It does not matter because Sasuke easily knocks her out, just as he knew he could.

(Except it does matter because Sakura begged him to open up, begged him to stay. It matters because she cried for him. It matters because she reached out to him even though she knew he disliked her because she could not bare to let him set off on his own. It matters so, so much.)

He leaves her on a bench along with his loyalties.

* * *

When the Sound Four tell Sasuke he must die for his seal to evolve something in him is relieved. Maybe this death will take away the feelings heavy in his chest, take away his regrets. Maybe — just maybe — he will even be gifted with a glimpse of his family.

(Sauske has been chasing ghosts so long he may as well be dead already; dying is not so scary once you have done it before.)

* * *

When Sasuke reawakens his disappointment is eclipsed by the sheer rage coursing through him. His veins no longer carry blood but an anger so intense it burns; his every cell is screaming at him in a foreign language. He does not know himself any more, only his hatred.

(If Sasuke could think, he would think this is how it is supposed to be. He would think this is what he has been missing. He would be glad he killed the part of him holding him back. But Sasuke cannot think, not like this, so instead he just throws himself at Naruto with the intent to kill. He is only hatred now and hatred does not discriminate.)

(Except if Sasuke could think he would know his mother would be ashamed.)

* * *

When Sasuke puts his hand through Naruto’s chest, he feels a regret so sudden and sharp it cuts through his feral, bloodthirsty rage like a kunai through flesh.

(He startes at his hand and at the boy he never called friend, the boy he was willing to die for, and thinks this hatred is turning him into another Itachi.)

Sasuke cannot handle that, cannot handle this so he does what he always seems to do — he turns and runs away. Away from Naruto, away from Sakura, away from Kakashi.

(At least with Orochimaru there is hope Sasuke will become a monster of a different breed.)


End file.
